There are a number of reasons why people seek therapy, but often it is because something in life feels out of whack and they are looking for guidance on how to get things back on track. When life hits hard, quick relief can feel like the best option. And while relief is important, emotional strength and resilience are not always built through avoidance of discomfort. Similar to how muscle strength is developed through time under tension, emotional fortitude is often built through distress tolerance.
Anxiety, grief, sadness, loneliness, and other forms of emotional discomfort can feel overwhelming. The desire to escape these feelings as quickly as possible is completely normal. Our brains are wired to avoid things that feel unsafe, and emotional distress often falls into that category.
However, while the desire to escape discomfort is natural, constantly avoiding difficult emotions can limit our opportunity for growth. Similar to how physical muscles strengthen under resistance, our emotional muscles are often developed when we learn how to tolerate discomfort rather than immediately escape it.
Over the years, I have grown to really enjoy strength training. There is something incredibly motivating about watching myself become stronger over time.
One thing I have learned throughout my fitness journey is that I see the most progress when I slow down and focus on proper form. Moving slowly forces my muscles to fully feel the weight and resistance of the workout, and ironically, this often produces better results than rushing through my reps just to finish quickly.
Similarly, emotional growth often requires us to slow down enough to fully process discomfort rather than immediately escape it.
By consistently going to the gym, working through my exercises with intention, and allowing adequate time for rest and recovery, I have gradually experienced increased muscle growth and have been able to lift heavier weights over time.
Therapy is similar to the gym for our emotional muscles, and your therapist is a bit like a personal trainer. It is a space where people can build emotional resilience, endurance, and fortitude while identifying the areas where they want to grow stronger.
Together, you and your therapist can create a plan to help strengthen those emotional muscles. Some of the exercises involved may include emotion regulation, deep breathing, thought challenging, mindfulness, and learning healthier ways to respond to distress.
And let’s not forget the importance of emotional rest and restoration. Just like our physical muscles, emotional muscles also need time to recover.
With the support of a therapist, you can gradually develop the skills needed to endure the emotional distress you cannot always escape, resulting in increased distress tolerance over time.
Ooh-wee… look at those emotional muscles growing!
Scriptures for Reflection
James 1: 2-4
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (NLT)
Romans 5:3-5
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us his Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.
"Our mental strength is not proven in the absence of distress but in our ability to navigate our distress well"
If you would benefit from getting in the emotional gym, contact our office and inquire about a free 15 minute consultation call. We would be happy to support you.